9 Songs

Courtesy of flickr.com

I opted for the more…”family friendly” version of this poster.

The very first time I heard about 9 Songs (when it was released in the British cinema, back in… sometime around 2005), I was intrigued.  Of course, at the time, I didn’t know very much about it, other than it was about an American student and an Englishman who meet at a concert, followed by footage from a number of concerts.

I’m not going to lie, I was mostly excited due to the list of bands from which the footage was provided.

As time went on, I forgot about the film’s existence – having never made it to the theatre to see it – until I saw an episode of Indie Sex which happened to mention it.  There, I learned that it was an “experimental film” done by Michael Winterbottom (of 24 Hour Party People fame) where he would proceed to make a film utilizing the sexualities of two actors.

This information caused me to read more about this film, and see what critics and regular moviegoers (like myself) had to say.  The results were fairly unanimous – trite, plotless, pretentious, pornography.

I had my mind pretty much made up – I would skip this one and figured that the masses were correct.  As such, the film was shoved into the back of my mind, never to be thought of again… until today.

The lovely Netflix mentioned to me that it had newly added 9 Songs to its list of “Instant Watch” movies.  As such, I figured, why not?

The first, pre-opening credits, bits of film were enough to put me off the entire things, but I stuck it out.

The film opens with two different shots of the same airplane, flying over a vast snow covered landscape, all the while a voice-over is occurring.  Close up of the young man in the plane, quick cut to a sex scene, and cue the opening credits.

What a way to start a film.  It got me thinking, “What have I gotten myself into?”

This film tried entirely too hard to be a masterful work of art – with its minimalist sets and lighting, handheld camera, extreme close-ups, and lengthy static shots.  However, what the film majorly lacked was a story, and as a result proved to be very dull and lifeless.

I wondered throughout, who are these two people that are constantly having coitus on my screen? Where did they come from?  How did they meet?  How did this start?  Do they ever have any sort of conversation?

I found myself eagerly awaiting the “9th song” just so that I would know the film was over.

This film was chock full of shot-after-shot-after-shot of sex.  Concert footage (probably taken from concert dvds) with sex interspersed.  Two seconds of dialogue, either following sex, or with sex immediately following.  It seemed as if the entire film took place in a bed.

The times that this couple were actually having a conversation was laughable – with dialogue such as:

“Do you think I look like a boy?”

“Yes, that’s why I like you”

“Boy…” (said while posing in front of a mirror) “Girl…” (also said while posing)

I am inclined to agree with the others – this film was nothing other than Winterbottom attempting to get his rocks off.

This was a major snoozefest, for sure.